Maintaining power, self-worth, and SMV during the course of a relationship

Extract from

For a little background, I have been lurking TRP for about two years now and think it’s time to share some guidelines about maintaining power, self-worth, and SMV within a relationship.


Me: Mid-twenties, grew up poor, elite education, started my own business. 7/10 gross rating but +1 for making 6 figures

Her: Mid-twenties, smart, ambitious, has an intuitive sense of AF/BB, level 99 mommy/daddy issues, loves to be dominated. 7/10 gross rating but +2 for regularly bringing her GFs over for threesomes

It goes without saying that you should never enter a LTR unless you are clearly and consistently benefiting from the dynamic. If you are no longer reaping the benefits, then you need to figure out what happened and correct things or cut ties. Depending on what has happened, the solution may be improving your SMV, sharpening your game, implementing dread game, or a mix of all three. Remember that never losing respect in the first place is much easier than clawing it back. This may seem like common sense, but I see way too many posts about guys losing 3, 5, 10 prime years to a shitty LTR.

Make sure she always understands you are doing her a favor by being with her

  • Do not enter a LTR relationship until she proves her worth with sex, humor, comfort, financial resources, cooking, cleaning, etc.

  • Let a potential LTR know you just got out of a relationship and/or you aren’t really a relationship guy unless the girl does XYZ. Great way to plate a girl who doesn’t want to comply. Easy way to ensure you are getting what you want out of your LTR. If she doesn’t follow through on XYZ it’s a very easy way to cut ties cleanly.

  • Do not enter a LTR relationship with her if she won’t do sexual things with you that she did with her other partners

  • Do not be afraid to explicitly tell her that you will not tolerate poor behavior

  • Make her apologize and list what she did wrong when she makes mistakes

  • Make her admit to being irrational or hormonal when she is

  • Subtly remind her of your position on the food chain when she misbehaves e.g. “other guys may be willing you put up with this BS but I am not. You need to grow up”

  • Temper your affection and amount of time you spend with her based on her good/bad behavior

  • Do not be afraid to withhold sex or fuck her and solely be concerned about your own pleasure

  • If you are never in a position to withhold sex then she is getting it elsewhere and/or you are garbage at fucking her

Do not listen to what she says but rather pay attention to what she does

  • This is the only real way to see whether or not she has internalized and embraced that being with you is a privilege

  • Does she get annoyed and defensive when you tell her to get off her phone?

  • Does she say that she loves you or does she massage your back, cook you food, and give you a BJ after a long day?

  • Does she just keep saying that she wants to make your fantasies a reality or does she convince her best friend she needs a taste too?

  • How she speaks about you is only relevant when she does not know you’re listening e.g. what does she tell her friends, parents, the guy hitting on her at the bar etc. about you

Be prepared to walk away from the relationship

  • Having expectations for her behavior doesn’t mean shit if you’re not willing to walk away if she starts acting up

  • If she talks shit about you behind your back to her guy friends and girl friends you need to drop her. Unfortunately, there is no tactful way to handle this situation since if you confront her about it you’ll come off as crazy and controlling or a whiny bitch. Don’t feel bad since if she’s the girl that speaks poorly of you behind your back to the people in her life it’s only a matter of time until they all turn against you so the relationship is doomed anyway.

  • Use phrases that will trigger the fuck out of her while you remain stoic e.g. “You know, we’ve had an incredible time together but…” “Unfortunately your behavior lately just isn’t something I am willing to put up with…” “Wishing you the best”

  • If you trigger her appropriately she’ll start begging for you back and you can easily reinstate her as an LTR if she promises to be on her best behavior or just as easily demote her to plate

Do not let her police your thoughts or actions. Ever. Shut it down fast. Shut it down hard

  • May seem obvious but this can creep up on non-natural alphas

  • Do not let her control if/when you go out, do not let her guilt you into not working as much, do not let her guilt you into not working out, do not let her guilt you into buying her shit, do not let her guilt you about being attracted to other women

  • If you try to police her thoughts or actions you just become the super controlling boyfriend so do not bother – just prevent her from limiting your own actions/thoughts

  • Just think, would she would say shit to Chad if he watched some random girl’s perfect ass walk to the bathroom?

Do not be afraid to make up the occasional story about a HB8 from work, the gym, your favorite bar etc. that wants you

  • If these situations don’t actually happen to you it may be an indication that your SMV is slipping and you need to improve

  • If she doesn’t believe your stories then her respect for you has already diminished considerably

Remind her of shitty things she’s done in the past

  • Make sure you are not mad, annoyed, or showing any signs of contempt

  • You should come off as stoic or slightly playful but she should get the sense you do not approve

  • Most effective if it relates to her past with men

  • Easy mode: Haha, that guy looks kind of like Connor. Remember when you told me you were into guys with pierced ears?

  • Savage mode: Damn, Sasha just stole Brooke’s boy. Didn’t you steal a guy from Brooke once too?

Make sure you don’t let your SMV drop

  • Check your weight every week and if you’re not bulking but still gaining weight then add a day or two of gym and cut any excess carbs

  • If your salary hasn’t been increasing by at least 5% on average a year over the few years then start applying for other positions

  • If you have a white collar job do not sleep on custom fit clothes since they are great motivation to maintain